The Spicy Years of Perimenopause with Carin Luna-Ostaseski

Erin: Welcome to Hotter Than Ever, where we uncover the unconscious rules we've been following. We break those rules and we find a new path to being freer, happier, sexier, and more satisfied in the second half of our lives. I'm your host, Erin Keating.

Welcome, welcome to everyone listening today. If you are new to the podcast, thank you so much for coming and giving us a try, giving us a listen. If you are a loyal and regular listener, thanks for bearing with us and our schedule changes. Now that we're on an every other week release schedule, I hope you will still go back and listen to episodes you might've missed back in the archive. And also you can go on YouTube and look for our episodes that are dropping there every week, we are going to get the whole back catalog up on YouTube. I don't know if you've heard the trend video is the trend for podcasts. Television is the trend for radio. What is happening in the world? Everything old is new again.

I'm so excited to share this conversation with you. , I really enjoyed talking to my guest today. Her name is Carin Luna-Ostaseski and she is the founder of a company called Hot Or Just Me. It's a resource and community for women going through perimonopause and menopause. I don't know if that's you, but I suspect since you're listening to a podcast called Hotter Than Ever, that that might be you, that you might be the target demographic. I think she is right on target for our audience and her company Hot Or Just Me provides information, curated wellness solutions, and tailored products that address key symptoms like hot flashes, night sweats, irregular periods, mood swings, and all the sexy things we are going to get into in this conversation.

Carin is super impressive. She's a serial entrepreneur who started her career as a create as a creative director at major media companies and tech startups, and she was the first American woman and Hispanic person to create a scotch whiskey before entering the midlife space. I love this conversation because it blows my mind that we grew up and we never knew that there was going to be this potentially 10 year period called perimenopause, which needs a rebrand and we work on that in the episode. We never learned that there was a 10 year period where you transition from having your period to not having it and that all these symptoms come along with it and then you go into menopause, which that was also never spoken about.

I'm so grateful to this generation of women and leaders and entrepreneurs like Carin who are taking on this space and creating solutions for us and also opening a more public conversation about normal things that are happening to our bodies. It's just a normal hormonal change, ladies. How come it's taken so long? Obviously I had menopause on the brain when I named this show Hotter Than Ever. And I heard about Carin and that her company name was Hot Or Just Me, I was like, well, obviously we need to talk. And also a little bonus, you're going to hear about all the awesome stuff that she sells on her site at hotterjustme.com. And just for you, if you go to that site, there's a link in the show notes, use the code HOTTER and you can get a 10% discount off of everything she sells there.

All right, let's get hot. Never was this transition more apt.

Carin, welcome to Hotter Than Ever.

Carin: Oh, thank you so much, Erin. It's a pleasure to be here with you.

Erin: You could not be a better guest for this show. Given the name of your company and the name of our podcast, we're just a perfect fit. It's a match made in menopause perimenopausal heaven, if there is such a place. And I would just love to--your journey's so interesting and I would love to hear kind of what took you from the world of, you know, corporate life to making, to the liquor, the spirits industry. And then I imagine it was probably a personal thing that happened to you that brought you into the perimenopause and menopause space.

Carin: Bingo. Yeah, so I'm calling this my third act in life. My first being what I set out to do out of college as a graphic designer and creative director. I worked for major media companies and Silicon Valley startups, and I quickly became disenchanted with what I was doing.

Erin: Oh, I don't know why.

Carin: I know, right? Staring at computer screens all day long, you know, designing things with the intention to keep people on their devices longer. And it just became soul sucking. I just didn't want to do it anymore. But it was so much of my identity, my career, my salary, like, everything.

Erin: I relate.

Carin: Yeah, right. And so it took a big leap of courage to say, you know, I want to quit and follow my dream. And at that time, what I was craving was connecting people in real life. And I was finding that over a glass of whiskey with many people, you know, having that moment in real time where you can sit and have a moment face to face and just share and go deep. So I realized I wanted to start a brand and I didn't know how to do that. So I, you know, wrote to 80 people, got rejected 80 times, and finally found that 80 first that helped guide me to create SIA. So that turned into a big success. I was the first woman, as you said, in history to create a brand of Scotch whiskey. People were--it was very well received to the point where it was acquired by the largest spirits company in the world a few years ago.

Erin: Congratulations.

Carin: Thank you.

Erin: That's what every entrepreneur hopes for, right?

Carin: It was. And it was also kind of like, you know, this double edged sword, right? Watching your kid go off to college and you have no control over what's happening. So, you know, just sitting on my hands is not something that I'm used to doing. And so around my early 40s, I started getting these hot flashes and these night sweats and anxiety and brain fog, and all of these, like, weird things started happening to me and kind of feeling my way around in the dark talking to, you know, I call it girlfriend medicine. You know, is this happening to you, too? And my doctor wasn't much help and eventually had to push back to find the right one and then realized that there was a need for women that were going through so many of these perimenopausal and menopausal symptoms for products and services and just really, you know, where to start in terms of navigating all of these. So that's how Hot Or Just Me was born. I named it after the question I asked pretty much everyone around me. Is it hot or is it just me?

Erin: It was just you. Well, my question for you was, did you know right away that it was perimenopause? Did you, like, put two and two together or were you, like, what is wrong with me?

Carin: Yeah, didn't. And, you know, it started out with these heavy periods, right? Like, my periods were--became monsoons. This, like the same amount of discharge of blood, but like the shortest days, like two or three days. And so, you know, I was just kind of freaking out, like, what's happening to my body? Talked to my doctor, and he wasn't very helpful. And then waking up in the middle of the night was the next one. It's just insomnia, anxiety, around like two in the morning, three in the morning. And again, you know, it took me having to advocate for my own health and find the right doctor.

I came, you know, as a big shock to me and something that, you know, you've talked about on, on your podcast that, that doctors don't get a lot of training when it comes to menopause. In fact, only three hours of their residency covered.

Erin: That's right.

Carin: So, yeah, unless you have a doctor who, you know, is maybe a woman who has gone through menopause and hasn't retired yet from her ob GYN delivering babies practice, or a man who, you know, has a partner that maybe has gone through it, it's just some kind of a personal interest. It seems like it's really hard to find the right practitioner. So I always encourage people to go to menopause.org and there's a directory there of, you know, a couple thousand doctors that have gone through extra certification.

Erin: That's a fantastic resource. And we'll put that in the show notes because I haven't heard about that. And I feel like, yeah, I mean, the lack of education around women's bodies, women's health, women's reproductive health, like, the cycles of our hormones, like, only recently has that one big step study been debunked about hormone replacement therapy. So was that not a thing that you went to HRT?

Carin: Yeah, so I've had an interesting journey with hormones as, you know, a young adult when I was on birth control, I found that it would just make me hysterical, like crying and just, like, really, really, like, sad. And then I just kind of didn't take them. I tried a few different brands, you know, in my, like, 19, 20 years old, and just didn't continue. And then around my 30s, when I wanted to get pregnant, I couldn't. And so I did IVF.

And, you know, that that was just a journey with hormones. Like, you know, all the injections and feeling like I called myself a science experiment cow at one point where it's just like, like, can you feel any unsexier in this process? And again, like, the hormones were just really messing with my mind. And so, you know, talk to doctors about HRT and they said, you know, obviously I'd start with way lower than what I was doing for IVF.

Erin: Yeah.

Carin: But, you know, in talking with them, my symptoms weren't, like, they weren't so bad. That I'm ready for HRT yet, so I am open to it. It's just not quite yet a candidate.

Erin: Yeah, that makes sense. That makes sense. And it wouldn't be the first thing that I would jump to either. My own situation is that I'm 53 and I'm definitely perimenopausal in that my period is sometimes heavy and sometimes like a tiny little spot. But when I was in a sexless marriage, you know, at the end of my 40s, I started to have night sweats. I would wake up with my legs soaking wet. Hi, thanks for that. Nothing makes you feel weirder.

Carin: One foot out seeking the cold.

Erin: Oh, my God. Always, always. I would look at anyway, but this is like wet thighs. Like, this is of no value to me on any level. And then when I started dating and having sex again, my body reversed, so I stopped having those symptoms. And so I have more oxytocin and less cortisol. And I mean, according to a menopause doctor I had on the show, Dr. Anna Cabeca, she's amazing that there is possible to have that happen. Not that I did it with any intent. But now I'm sort of checking my watch, like, okay, when's, like, menopause, right?

Carin: Yeah. Like, the symptoms come in different severities. Some come not at all. Some are super strange. Like, there's, like, the greatest hits. Like, I call them the top 10.

Erin: Yeah, let's talk through them.

Carin: Oh, yeah. Okay. So should I go 10 to 1, like, David Letterman stuff?

Erin: Sure. Top 10 list.

Carin: All right. 10. Weight gain. 9. Decreased libido. 8. Brain fog. 7. Joint and muscle aches. 6, Mood changes in irritability. 5, Vaginal dryness, 4, Insomnia. 3, Night sweats, 2, Hot flashes and 1. Irregular periods. And then post-menopause, a lot of the same ones, but, you know, add in bone density loss, joint muscle aches and heart. And health concerns as well. Yeah, good times.

Erin: Insidious, though, because beyond, like, hot flashes and night sweats, like, you could be someone who's like me, who's always had irregular periods.

Carin: Yeah.

Erin: Or someone who has, you know, who's on medication for mood. Or someone who's often had anxiety and trouble sleeping. You know, it's hard to identify what brain fog is, what it really feel, you know, how. How you couldn't diagnose it. Like, a lot of this stuff is very, like, sort of normal, feeling off.

Carin: Yeah. Like, I think that's where it gets tricky. You go to your doctor and you're like, oh, you know, I'm feeling a little depressed. And the first thing they want to give you is antidepressants, right?

Erin: Yeah.

Carin: Or you're like, oh, I'm having trouble sleeping. And they're like, here's some Xanax. And it's like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Like, let's calm down a little bit. Let's turn the volume down.

Erin: Pharma is always the go to solution. And especially in this country. I don't know about you, but growing up, I never heard the word perimenopause. What is it?

Carin: Like, what? No. And I mean, it's like the same thing. I never had this conversation with my mom. I grew up in Miami. It was always hot and my mom, I'm a child of immigrants. We didn't have any money growing up, so the air conditioning was really expensive. So she'd always be like, turn on the fan, Mommy, it's 100 degrees. And then I remember this time in life where she was just cranking the ac, and I thought, like, I go back in hindsight, like, oh, she was like, having her Hot flashes during that time. But we never talked about it.

Like, we celebrate, you know, girls coming of age when they get their period. We celebrate their puberty. Like, you're a woman now, but, you know, come at the end of our journey. There's no celebration generation where, like, you know, have to be, like, hidden and not talk about it. So I'm really happy that now in our zeitgeist, in our generation, we are bringing this to the front of our conversations.

Erin: Yeah, I think women have a much more public voice these days, and certainly women in midlife, because we are the most successful generation of women who've ever lived on planet Earth in the history of humanity. You know, we are and we're used to being able to accomplish things and solve things and get it all done. I think we're starting to go, huh? Wait a minute. Like, there's all these phenomena that we collectively go through there's never been language for. There's never been a public conversation about. And suddenly in the last--well, I mean, I've only, it comes onto your radar when it comes onto your radar. Like, if you never took a school bus, you never noticed a school bus.

Carin: Yeah.

Erin: The second you start taking a school bus, there's school buses everywhere.

Carin: Right.

Erin: So the same thing with the perimenopause and menopause conversation.

Carin: Yeah. And, I mean, we have the benefit now of, you know, social media and podcasts and other ways to amplify our voices around this topic.

Erin: Yeah, for sure. Perimenopause, though, and menopause, they have a branding problem.

Carin: Yeah. They really need a rebrand.

Erin: So what I did is I went to my favorite AI search app, Perplexity, which they should sponsor the show. I'm so obsessed with this thing. It's the most--

Carin: I've never used it. Check it out.

Erin: Don't ever use Google again for search. Use this thing. So I said, you know, give me some ideas for how to rebrand the word perimenopause. Okay. I'm going to give you some options.

Carin: Give it to me.

Erin: Hormone hurricane. Estrogen exodus. Midlife metabolic mayhem.

Carin: Whoa.

Erin: Mood swing symphony. Okay, I like the spicy years.

Carin: I like that one. That's my top so far.

Erin: Hormone roller coaster.

Carin: Okay.

Erin: Temperature tango. Okay, here's some, like, more woo-y ones.

Carin: Okay.

Erin: Wisdom awakening. Bodily alchemy. Sovereign transition.

Carin: Oh, my goodness, that one.

Erin: I hate all of this.

Carin: I like the spicy years.

Erin: I'm spicy years.

Carin: Because, like, you know, we do get a little spicy around this time, we're, like, in that era of, as my friend put it, like, she's just giving zero. Like, just. She's just telling it like it is and just sick of, like, having to pretend to be somebody else or what she thinks society needs her to be. And she's just like, you know what? Fuck it.

Erin: Yeah, I have a different take on no fucks left to give. I feel like I have more fucks than ever to give. I feel more deeply. I only want to do the things I care about. I don't want to spend time people pleasing. I have all the fucks. I just want to put them in the places I want to put them, and I don't want to give them to people who don't deserve them.

Carin: I love it. Totally spicy over there.

Erin: Okay. The Spicy Years. That's going to be the name of this episode, I love it.

Carin: It's fun, too. Since I'm Latina, I'm Cuban, and my husband calls it Cuban Fire. When I get going, and he just, all he hears is bada, bada, bada, bada. But there's, I had this nickname growing up, and it's Chipita, and there's no word for it in English, but it literally translates in Spanish: The little spark that sets off all the matches in the matchbook at one time.

Erin: Oh, my God. I love that Spanish needed a word for them.

Carin: And then the Canadian, they're like, you know what? That's your nickname, because that is you.

Erin: Oh, my God. Well, you belong in the spicy years.

Carin: There we go.

Erin: So I'm obsessed with sex, and I love to talk about sex on this podcast. And, you know, I read in your materials that increasing your libido can help with perimenopause. Like, how does that work?

Carin: So it's, I think, more that, you know, as your estrogen is declining, one of these side effects of these symptoms is low libido. I think that there is this moment of, like, a little, like, extra flurry where women express that they just get extra horny.

Erin: Yes.

Carin: And it might be like this last hurrah. Right? Like, oh, our body can still get pregnant. Let's go try. But then there's also just the low libido, which, you know, it's so sad. We are vibrant women, and we should be expressed sexually.

Erin: Yeah.

Carin: And, you know, it's. It's unfortunate. I think a lot of it is coming from just fatigue. You know, we run households, we raise children, we have our jobs. Like we're just, you know, support systems for our children, for our elderly parents, for our friends, and everywhere in between. And so what's left for us? And so I think sleep is a big part of the story that people just kind of overlook. We might be over caffeinated during the day and then it's a little harder to sleep at night. As someone who spent 10 years of my life telling people you should drink, now I'm telling people like, maybe you should drink only in the daytime or taper off.

Erin: It does mess up your sleep.

Carin: Yeah, and you wake up around two in the morning processing. Your liver's on overdrive. And so couple that with the insomnia that you get around that time with the anxious and you're like lists of things you have to do. So by the time you wake up, you're exhausted. So then now you drink more coffee, so you're a little more anxious. You make bad food decisions, you don't go to the gym because you're tired. And you know how you have like a little like brain fog and concentration issues because you're tired and then you know, you, you are with your partner and you don't feel like being in the mood.

So I think sleep is just such a huge component around libido. So just making sure that you're rested, that your tank is full. And then other other things on this age, women complain of vaginal dryness. So, you know, making sure that they're using the right moisturizers or lubricants that they need, but then also finding some other ways to spice it up. So one thing that I've kind of turned to recently, and I'm not a porn person, so I think the visual aspect, like, it's just, they get it all wrong all the time. And so I discovered an audio app. It's called Dipsea. Have you heard of this?

Erin: Sure, I've read them all.

Carin: Yeah, I love them. I swear by them. Because you get to use your imagination, right. Like where your mind goes of this voice, of this character, of this story that you're like, get really into. There's another one called Quinn that I haven't really dived into as much, but I have also found when I was going through problems with my first marriage, I discovered some tools called Gottman Institute. And they have an app called the Gottman. I think it's love cards. And then they said they have like, you know, just things to have a regular conversation. But they have the salsa deck. Speaking of spicy, it's like questions that you can ask your partner to kind of get in the mood and like get in their mind.

Erin: So I love all of those suggestions and, and those sort of audio erotica apps are so great for women because you don't get in this like, I don't know with porn, I get in a, like, oh my God, does she really want to be there? Is she trying to pay her rent? Like, does she think this is a long term solution for her life? Like, I get worried about her, like she's gonna go try to be a receptionist and then some asshole's gonna be like, I saw you on Only Fans. Like I get worried about the girls and then I don't want to compare my body, you know. And it's also a lot of good. And so it's so imaginative, the audio stuff. And also sometimes the guys voices, if it's a guy's voice, they're so hot.

Carin: I know. And I mean that's what's so beautiful is they get to be whoever you want them to be in your brain. They look like whatever it is, it's just that's the voice that you're matching to this visual.

Erin: Yeah, for sure.

Carin: They also have a lot of like self pleasuring apps and tools as well on, on those where, you know, they kind of walk you through different, you know, positions to masturbate in.

Erin: Yeah, absolutely. Underrated, underrated. I love that, I love that. And we did an episode with Dr. Maureen Slattery, who talks a lot about low libido and, and sort of remedies for that. So if listeners want to go back and listen to that in the archive that is there for you. And also I think a lot of our friends probably need to hear this conversation. So if you're listening and you're like, oh gosh, maybe it's perimenopause that, you know, that Amy is going through, you know, or Louisa's going through. It's like, I might share this one with her because I think not only is this an important sort of resource for people, it's, it's what you have on the website is also really cool and like great product bundles and all kinds of things. We have a discount code for listeners at the end of the episode. But yeah, so sleep is critical. We talk to our friends, we talk to our moms, we talk to our aunts, you know, we talk to the women that we're close to in our lives, maybe our doctors. But how do you explain to your partner you know, especially if you have a male partner, like, what this is.

Carin: Yeah. So I'll just speak from personal experience. I'm 47. My husband is 43. And he, you know, when I was parking these things of, oh, he's having his midlife crisis, and I just, I started to hear myself, and it sounded. It gave me the same, like, burn as when he would say, oh, it's just your time of the month.

And so I was thinking, like, okay, let me take a step back, like, what's really going on? And, you know, come to find out through research that he's in something called andropause. And so andropause is really similar to menopause. It's a decline in sex hormones, whereas women, it's estrogen. For men, it's testosterone.

Erin: Right.

Carin: And so as they, their testosterone decreases, they have some similar issues that we do. So, like, hair loss, there's some weight gain, there's bone loss, night sweats, mood swings, depression, insomnia.

Erin: Wait, what?

Carin: I know. So it just. I was like, wow. I mean, they have other things that come along with it. Like, there might be some mild to moderate erectile dysfunction. There might be some decreased motivation focus issues as well. So a lot of it just kept like, oh, my God, we're in the same boat. And so when I was coming at it from that lens, I had this compassion and sympathy and also maybe like, a shared vocabulary. And so I said, hey, are you noticing this for yourself? Or. You know, I've heard, you know, just, like, position it very sweetly. Like, oh, my friend was telling me that he's in a men's group and they're taking testosterone supplements. Have you heard of their--

Erin: You know, we don't need them more aggressively too much.

Carin: Right. But it was just really curious to me of, like, oh, my gosh, not only am I living in a house where my daughters are approaching puberty and showing signs of their hormones, now I've got my husband as well as me, so we're just in a hormone household right now. So I think, think coming at it from a place of compassion and sympathy, shared understanding, even shared vocabulary about what's going on, I think is a good start.

Erin: Hormone hurricane. I hear you, I hear you. I mean, I'm 53. My daughter-- I have twins, and my kids are almost 14. So my daughter is just like, full on, you know, all the things that happen when the early days of your period and probably even into it, even into my--

Carin: 40S I had all this.

Erin: But it is so amazing that, like, we are all going through this stuff. And I think with men, like, there is not a public conversation about that. There's conversations in the sort of mano-sphere, in the bro verse, around low T. He's low T.

Carin: You know, or they put it around, like, longevity or, you know, just more trending topics versus just calling it what it is.

Erin: We're aging. Like, our bodies are changing. And we're at midlife, you know, and given our potential to live 80 to 80, 90, 100 these days, you know, we are smack in the middle. And it benefits everyone to just be straight about, like, yeah, this feels weird. This is changing. Like, I'm not, I don't feel like I felt when I was 24. We're willing to say that finally.

Carin: And I mean, like, to our daughters, right? Like, we have the talks, we tell them about puberty way before they need to know, and we celebrate it. We talk about it. We have books and conversations. But it's like, you know, I remember my daughter, at one point, she was just crying, and I was like, what's wrong? She's like, I don't know why I'm crying.

Erin: I don't understand.

Carin: And I was like, oh, I know this. Like, that we can absolutely connect on this.

Erin: And they have apps, too. They have period tracker apps that they use. So I was always, like, blindsided by why I was crying. And then I'd be like, the next morning, I'd have my period, and I was like, oh, every time.

Carin: It's like, you know, every month. Every month it's the same, but it's like, I don't know why I'm crying. Yeah. And I have these books for her. I'd asked, like, our therapist about, you know, what. What is good for teens now? And she said, you know those American Girl dolls? And I said, yes. Like, well, they have a book series and the book series is fantastic. And it's, like, all about you and this normal is another book, and the feelings book is another. And then they have a guy version called, like, Guy Stuff and Guy Stuff Feelings. And they're written almost like, in that Cosmo style of, like, Q and A, like, you know, bloody and boys or whatever. But they're just like, it's really sweet when it's coming from someone else and it's written with, like, you know, good illustrations, whatnot like, this is fantastic.

Erin: I would give those kinds of books to my kids, and then they would hide them and not ever want to talk about it. I'm like, I'm the most open person in the world. I'm like, I don't know, they're, everyone's a reaction to their parents, right?

Carin: Mine was the opposite. I remember when I got my period and I lied about it because my friends had gotten it, and I was 14 and still hadn't gotten it. So I was such a late bloomer that they're like, have you gotten it? I was like, oh, yeah. And meanwhile, I was like, hadn't. And then I remember I finally got so excited and I ran to my mom's room, and she was taking a shower. I was like, mommy, I got my period and she was almost, like, pissed, like, I gotta stop my shower. And she, like, got out, like, wrapped a towel around herself, and she, like, hands me a tampon from her drawer. And I was like, what do I do with this? And she just turned around and grabbed the box and pointed to the instructions and then walked away and was like, are you serious right now? This is our talk.

Erin: Oh, that is so funny. That is so funny.

Carin: So, yeah, I'm like, almost like the opposite now, where I'm over communicating to kind of like, undo.

Erin: Yeah, right. Exactly, exactly. It's like, it's a line to walk, you know, around all that stuff with my daughter and my son.

Carin: And you have them at the same age, right? Like twins, so you have, like, two versions of the same, like, puberty.

Erin: It's wild. It's wild of my house. I mean, it's so interesting. It's so parallel, right? Like, we're, it's just amazing to be a woman. It's amazing to be a woman. To have the privilege of having this sort of evolution of our bodies and evolutions of our minds and you know, I do because I talk to so many women in midlife. The opportunity that happens when you're not having this hormone hurricane, you know, hormone roller coaster, whatever the app told me to call it, you know, is a different kind of headspace for us.

You know, it's a more level headspace. It's a lesson, a cyclical headspace. It's a more even headspace. And, you know, it's not surprising to me that all the stats are saying, like, you know, women who are on boards, you know, companies with women on the board, which are usually older women, do better. Companies with older women CEOs do better. Like, because we have all of the sort of life experience of having been a woman and, and all that empathy, but then we aren't subject to the ups and downs, ups and downs, ups and downs of our cycle at this point in our life. And I think seeing it as an opportunity once you're sort of through this, the symptomatic woods, you know, it really is an incredible time of life. So many women starting businesses, so many women reinventing.

Carin: Yeah, yeah. It's like this age of reinvention of, you know, the self exploration, you know, what is your identity? What do you want it to be? And just feeling like, you know, if my body can change, my mind can change. I can start something new. I can, you know, reinvent myself. I can take on this new hobby or this new interest or this new business even.

Erin: Right. This new relationship, this new way of doing life.

Carin: Yeah.

Erin: I mean, I certainly started this podcast because I have all those questions for myself, and I felt like I can't be the only one. You know, I can't be the only one.

Carin: One of the biggest messages I have for women through this process is just that you're not alone. Right? Like, I think we have these feelings of, like, oh, nobody gets it. Nobody understands. It's the same like the teenagers, right? They're like, no, you don't get it. You'll never understand. It's like, yeah, we are like this amazing population. I think we're at a billion, you know, women in menopause around the world. And, you know, in this era of life, you know, perimenopause and men and, you know, we collectively, we're so strong and vibrant, and there's just so much ahead of us because we have that wisdom of, of everything that we've collected through our lives.

Erin: I love that. I love a positive, empowering message. Because this time of life can also be hard and confusing. And, you know, the economy is changing, and the careers that we thought we were building have suddenly disappeared for a lot of us and, you know, the relationships that we were in have ended because we no longer need that structure to raise our children. And we look up and go, huh, what am I doing this for?

Carin: That was my first pancake. I called my first marriage my first pancake, because it was like, you know, when I cook pancakes, the first one's always a little shitty. And then so, you know, it took a while there to reinvent, like, okay, well, who am I without this person? And who am I without these relationships and friendships that we cultivated together that, you know, no longer serve me? And, you know, who do I want to be? Who do I get to be now?

Erin: Right. And then who am I with children? And who am I once my children have launched, if I did a good job, you know. So, yeah, I think it's so interesting. I mean, I'm just eternally fascinated by the journey that women go through and the way that we figure out how to be so resourceful and be in community with each other. Because I think we're living in a culture that is increasingly isolated and isolating. And so that's part of what I love about what you're doing, is like, let's all have this conversation together. So talk to me about, like, some of the goodies that people can find on your site.

Carin: Yeah, so I have them grouped by symptoms, and so just going by those kind of top 10. But then I also have these fun bundles. So the, the products say like, for example, in hot flashes and night sweats, so everything you need to kind of outfit your home and your body through hot flashes and night sweats. So if you think about where you sleep, it's your bedding. So we have cooling performance sheets that have zero tech, it's a moisture wicking technology. We have the same temperature regulating pillowcases. I have a variety of sleepwear in different fabrics and styles to help through a night sweat cooling blanket. And then, you know, during the day, everything from cooling bracelets and necklaces. I'm wearing one now. You put this bracelet in the freezer? Yeah, I'm holding it.

Erin: Oh, my God. That's amazing.

Carin: Thanks. So it's from a company called Hot Girls Pearls and it's called the Chiclet cooling bracelet. They come in a variety of colors, but basically you put them in the freezer and then you put them on and, you know, it just helps cool you down at your pulse points. We have a tank top finishing sprays for your makeup. So when you're going through the hot sweat, the sweaty doesn't slide off your face. And then, you know, everything in, you know, vaginal dryness and low libido, we've got moisturizers, lubricants, vibrators, and toys as well.

Insomnia fatigue, same thing, including eye masks. We have hair and skin products and we've got a bookstore and a gift shop. So it has some cards and then as I mentioned, the bundles are really fun. So I have like one, one that's called welcome to the Club. It has a couple books, it has a gift card and a Perimenopause WTF card. There is a Spice Things up collection. There's a Sleep Essentials, Skin and Glow. So just a few different groups there. And then we have a big resource directory under our Learn section where we've got a lot of articles about everything from diet, HRT, bone loss, acupuncture and so much more.

Erin: So great, so great. And what a smart idea for a business. I mean, really, just to put it all in one place so that, you know people who are suffering with all the various delightful and insulting parts of.

Carin: Yeah, I mean, I'm trying to cover everything with the exception of hormone replacement therapy is that, you know, I'm not a medical professional, so obviously consult your doctor before taking on any, you know, changes in your health. But for the most part, everything else, you know, some people, maybe they're taking HRT and need something to help supplement or maybe they're not ready for it yet. Maybe they're buying it for a friend or a loved one. So I think that there's a huge market for, for sure.

Erin: And for Hotter Than Ever listeners, you can get a 10% discount if you go to the Hott Or Just Me website. The link is in the show notes and put in the code Hotter. It'll be easy to remember and you get a 10% discount on whatever you get there on your first purchase. So thank you so much for that, Carin, I think that our listeners will appreciate that.

Carin: Oh, you're so welcome. Anything I can do to be in service of our, of our sisterhood.

Erin: Yes. Thank you. So is there any one thing that you would leave the Hotter Than Ever listeners with about this period of life? About what's possible for them in perimenopause, about what's going to make it easier?

Carin: Yeah, I think that the biggest takeaway is just that you are not alone. You know, I think that, that we are natural community makers as women. We lean on each other for, you know, girlfriend medicine, girlfriend advice, girlfriend support, and just to know that, that you're not alone. There's so many resources out there and when you start to kind of question, you know, is this normal? Is it hot or is it just me? Just to kind of, you know, start. Start poking around in it and go beyond, you know, trying to say, like, this is an isolated thing and take a step back and say, this might be Perimenopause. It might be the time for this amazing journey of transformation in my life.

Erin: Right, the spicy years.

Carin: The Spicy Years. You know what it reminds me of? Do you remember that show, the Wonder Years?

Erin: Yes, totally. Oh, my God. It's a sequel. It's the sequel where all the characters are in bed. What was her name? Winnie. Where Winnie is in Perimenopause.

Carin: Let's get her on the show.

Erin: Oh, my God. Amazing. Amazing. Carin, thank you so much.

Carin: It was so fun. Erin, thank you.

Erin: Thanks for listening to Hotter Than Ever. I hope you enjoyed this conversation about perimenopause and puberty and all the symptoms and solutions that come along with this period of life, or this, do I still get my period, period of life? Is there someone in your life who needs to hear this conversation, who may have some of these symptoms, who may be looking for solutions and community and products and conversations that will help ameliorate this transition for them? Please share this episode with them. I love it when you share Hotter Than Ever with the people in your life. That is how we grow. That is how we keep the show going and I am grateful for you. Also visit the Hot Or Just Me link in the show notes and use the code hotter for a 10% discount off of the awesome products Carin has on her site. Lots of great bundles and gifts for the women in your life who may be needing a little extra help to get through this crazy hormonal and life transition.

Hotter Than Ever is produced by Erica Girard and PodKit Productions. Our associate producer is Melody Carey. Music is by Chris Keating with vocals by Ysa Fernandez.

I'm always too hot or too cold. My fingers are always freezing. My toes are always freezing. What about you? I don't know what month it is or how it's supposed to be temperature wise anymore. Is it supposed to be hot in February? Is it supposed to be cold? Is it cold? Is it hot? Is it climate change or is it perimenopause? I guess we will never know.